Browse Professor Quotes

Reading that Atlantic Monthly article reminded me of the old Israeli saying, that you can't scare a hooker with a penis.
—Prof. Avi Matalon, reflecting on The Truth about Harvard
It's never wrong to put it in.

What is the one? What is the thing? That is what we're gonna be talking about.

We don't know what it is. Let's just call it Fred.

As a friend of mine likes to put out-- to point out...

...Otherwise, you are confusing a true thing witha false thing, which leads to falsehood... BAD.

Pull out.

Every man who owns a monkey, beats it.

Sentence letters are BACK!

Everything that F's something, F's everything.

Wishing like that is like wishing for round circles-- I mean, square circles... There ARE round circles.

As the shampoo bottle says, repeat.

Let's call it Dave, just to keep track... Dave is a thing.

Don't play with symbols. Forget symbols.

What if I met someone in a bar? He's never heard of logic.

Maybe a woman does not respect herself. That's fine. I mean, that's SAD, but this is logic, not psychology.

This is all about picky.

Betty's the one.
—Professor Heck (Quantitative Reasoning 22: Deductive Logic)
“This graph looks like a ’70s coffee table”
—Professor John Boller
Being hit by lightning is not good for you.
—Professor McNally, Social Analysis 43: Psychological Trauma
Judging by the tax cuts Bush has given, we can be assured that Jesus Christ is not his favorite economist.
—Prof. Robert Paarlberg, Gov 1790, after recounting George W. Bush's assertion during the 2000 debates that Jesus Christ is his favorite philosopher.
I aim for balanced outrage
—Bill Clark, ESPP 10, in reference to balancing environmental policy
don't forget to give a shout-out to the clitoris. trust me, it'll be well-recieved.
—Michael Rodriguez, Professor of "Human Sexuality," while showing a diagram of how to find a woman's G-spot.
I know people who were cute and had problems too.- In Reference to dolly the sheep and others
—Professor Hartl
By that time in the dinner I knew there wasa a more important discovery (than DNA)-fermentation, and I knew it the next morning too
—Professor Hartl, talking about a DNA celebratory dinner
“We’re gonna use the fundamental zero-ness of zero”
—Professor John Boller
I love ewe, Mom!- said by Dolly the sheep
—Professor Hartl
Ideology is a bit like body odor, sometimes people do not want to admit that they have it, but it is still there.
—Professor Stauffer
Then you put each of the girls in a G-spot...um, that was not intentional...
—Noam Elkies, Quantitative Reasoning 28, The Magic of Numbers
On Descartes: “He wasn’t so keen on the negative axes”
—Professor John Boller
She married into high society of Des Moines- even though that might sound like an oxymoron.
—Professor Stauffer
I once had a student write in a paper on Otto von Bismarck, 'Bismarck was a juggler, successfully keeping many balls in the air at once, but in 1890 his balls dropped.' Which, I suppose, would explain Bismarck's famously squeaky voice.
—Prof. Blackbourn, Hist A-76 (history of Germany)
There is no record of [the Samurai] striking anyone in anger...well...I mean...they probably beat their kids.
—Professor Bolitho, commenting on the peaceful Tokugawa samurai
“I’ve said a lot of smart things in my day. There’s no Feldstein’s law. Time is running out.”
—Marty Feldstein, referring to Okun's Law
Thank you for perfectly making my point by being completely wrong.
—Econ Prof Edward Glaeser, to a student in front of 150 of his peers.
It's a lamb in wolf's dress
—Math TF in heavy portuguese accent referring to integration by substitution.